Monday, December 29, 2008
All is fair in business...
For the past 20 years it has been a practice of mine to total up all my profits in a month and 'gift' 5℅ of it to God. People call it donation. I call it bribe. Yes. Even the Almighty needs to be bribed. So that the next month is more profitable and the risks would be taken care off. Today is the day I would visit the temple again. I hate debts. That's why I look forward to this day. My profits this year have been showing a negative trend. Last month it was 2.6 crores but this month they add up to 2 crores only. Damn this global recession. 2009 should be a better year. Hopefully. So here I head to the temple...
My bribes are always in ten rupee notes. That's my identity. People get astonished whenever I bring bags and bags of notes to donate. Today, if my calculations are correct, I should be giving God some 1000 ten rupee bundles, 300 less than last time. And I hate beggars. Why should they come in between two dealers, God and I? Usually I walk past totally oblivious to their existence. But this guy stuck me today. When I was walking past, he sang my favorite song with consummate ease and asked for alms as he proclaimed to be blind and handicapped in legs. It is generally tough to move my heart. But today it was moved. I took out a ten rupee note from one bundle and gave it to him. And I went straight to the place where God has stoned himself...
I admire him. God. Totally. All he does is keep sitting in one place and he gets all the money he wants. That takes some business sense. But today I was going to castigate him.
'Hey God!! You promised me more this month! You took 1300 bundles last month for what? Be truthful to the partnership! Adhere to the business ethics! I am disappointed with you. Atleast make sure that in 2009 you remain loyal to your partner. Anyways. You got 1000 this month. That's all. And ya I took off a ten rupee note to give that beggar. Your fine for disappointing me! Chalo. See you next month then. Happy new year to you! Bye'
God and I are more like friends. We have always been. I need him and he needs me. So everything was done. I have cleared all my debts successfully. I was walking with my head held high when I saw the beggar walking past me. Walking!!
The thing with beggars is that you can't really differentiate one from another. But this time I was sure because he was humming the same tune. The tune I love. And he was walking without any support. Didn't he say he was blind? I followed him wanting to take back the ten rupees and stopped short to listen to his conversation with my friend, God.
'Hey God! You have been generous to me today. Some gentleman donated ten to me just now. I know I cheat. But you have made me this way. Today totally I got 20 rupees. As I have promised, I will give half of it to you. Here is the ten'
I saw him giving God the same ten I had given him. The ten that God should have got in the first place. I turned and walked back to my car. I learnt a lot today. God has many friends, so he can't always satisfy, take care of every customer. I need to be patient with him. God creates cheaters. So that he can make a living. And God is an amazing businessman! Look how he got back the ten which I fined him!!! All is fair in business...
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Live another day!!!
It all started when he was a year old. He slashed his hands with a sharp knife by accident and his mom tried doing everything she could but the bleeding didn’t stop. He was taken to a hospital nearby and that was the first time of many more that he was admitted in the ICU. Upon analysis, his parents were told that he was facing a rare genetic disorder. Haemophilia. That’s the first word he learnt in English. And the first definition “Haemophilia is a blood disorder where an essential clotting factor is missing, either partly or completely”. After that day, everyday of his life has been eventful and everything he did was monitored by his poor parents, literally.
He never had the freedom to do things the way other kids did them, he was always under supervision. Why should one word gulp up my whole life?, he often used to wonder. But over time, he had to accept it. His parents told him that he was special and one in million who get this dreadful deficiency. But he didn’t want to be special. He wanted to be normal. He didn’t like the way people treated him. He hated being shown pity. He was not going to let anyone think he was a patient. He wanted to fight. He wanted to show to this world which does nothing but show pity that he was capable of great things. He was going to leave an inedible mark…
He underwent all the known methods of treatment. From the painful injections time to time, the various exercises, the different herbs suggested, to the acts of self-hypnotism, he tried everything. It made no difference to anything. He wasn’t allowed to shave his ugly beard also. What if you get hurt?, he was asked. But I want to shave and look smart!, he cried to himself. He decided he would do something about this. He joined biology course in his higher secondary. And it was then that he felt his life was meaningful. He started believing that it was no fault of his that he is facing this deficiency. He did his under-graduate in Biotechnology. Soon he got tired of all the theory he was reading. He started a local laboratory on his own, with full support from his parents. He knew that they can’t support him forever, that he needed to earn money on his own now. He started working for a newspaper company to earn his living. He worked hard in his lab late nights to develop something that would save his peers all over the world. He knew it was far fetched. But he wanted to die fighting…
Today was that fateful day when his hand got jammed into the printing machine and he was bleeding. Oh shit! Wish I had completed the experiment yesterday! He had developed something but he couldn’t test unless he had medical support in case it failed. He waited for Sunday to test it as it would be an off day for work. He ran hard with blood flowing all over his body. His parents were shocked to see him coming back to home liked that. But he had no time to explain it to them. Unmindful of them, he ran straight to his lab. He had five more minutes. He mixed the final two solutions and drank the resulting liquid as fast as he could. And that was the last thing he remembered…
A week later:
The local newspaper company had lost one of its employees this week. He was hardworking, the boss was thinking. There was a new boy now replacing the dedicated employee. The new boy was looking at the headlines.
A SCIENTIFIC MIRACLE!!
A young scientist from India has miraculously discovered the cure to a long known genetic disorder……
He was reading the same headline. He has suddenly become world famous. And once in the limelight, money comes uninvited. He returned to his lab to start work again. To develop a cheap, affordable cure for the same…
Note: This post is dedicated to all the people who face similar disorders and to that special person whom I have come across having the disorder discussed above.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Happy Birthday!! -to me :)
Thanks,
With Love,
rivat-hanss@blogspot.com :)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Boomerang!
“Up and atom……… atom… ant” sounds familiar? Sounds like a tune you used to repeat after every one hour seeing the television? Still wondering? Life has moved on. But sometimes we get comfort in remembering things that always evoke an unintended smile from us. Let us recollect. Recollect a few things we have relished throughout our childhood but seem trivial to us now. The subject I hit upon today is the all entertaining and bewitching cartoons.
Recently when I was browsing through some videos in YouTube, I came across the video named “The Jetsons meet The Flintstones” Part 1-13. Out of curiosity I opened the first and well, the next 2 hours saw me hooked to the cartoon while my work in office was being compromised! It was interesting and engaging. The concept of future and past was so finely documented and each of the present day gadgets were transformed to suit the daily needs of a human. Looking at it from a matured angle, I saw innovation. Innovation in everything from the idea to the screenplay and the story. Considering that these cartoons were made as sketches first made me wonder about the amount of time and artistic labor put into each of those episodes. But that is just the ‘mature’ angle of it.
As a child I loved cartoons. From the thought-provoking Captain Planet, the funky Johnny Bravo, the innovative Dexter, the love-hate Tom-Jerry to the cute PowerPuff Girls, I liked them all. I could see why I liked them so much now. It’s about the unadulterated world it takes you to and the enjoyable often overlooked aspects of life it deals with. The end is always known and predictable. The good always conquers the bad. But isn’t that the message we try to give to every child nowadays? The vicarious happiness a child gets by seeing his superhero conquer all evils is something unparalleled in that phase of his life. Cartoons are known to provide an unimaginable relief to humankind. And the message it intends to convey reach the audience instantly. And it’s attracting. That is probably why we see many epics being made as cartoon movies nowadays. And that is why we have seen the increase in the number of cartoon channels from the one and only Cartoon Network to myriad types of channels catering to the local needs as well.
So why have we come out of that wonderful world now? Grown up? Is that a reason valid enough to forget these wonderful creatures who were our best friends, our role models for long? I don’t think so. So make sure that the next time you log in to YouTube or the next time you see your siblings or nephews catching in on some cartoon, stay tuned to the nostalgic episodes and get yourself surprised when you start recollecting the upcoming scenes as if you had watched them yesterday!!!
"Fighting crime trying to save the day,
Here they come just in time,
The PowerPuff Girls.. PowerPuff.."
Monday, December 8, 2008
Everyone has a 'Job' to do..
“Hmmm. That’s fine. Your project ends today I believe? Where is the report?”
His face became blank. Oh not so early! “I haven’t completed the report. Can you give me another day?”
His boss’ face started becoming red. “But I thought I had given you extra time already?”
“It got delayed. Please excuse me this time alone”
“But that’s what you said last time?”
He couldn’t react. He was always late. I can’t handle this. And I can’t quit! I need the money!
“Show me your mobile. I need to check if last night’s call was really unintentional or you played a prank!” his boss suddenly got excited as if some brilliant idea had stuck him.
How would you check that?, he wanted to ask. But he managed “Sure. Here it is” and handed his mobile to him.
“I am unhappy with your work. Do you realize that people have been handed out pink slips in our company for under-performance? You are always late. And your reports doesn’t seem like you are putting 100% into it. Vague and unclear. That’s not what I am known to tolerate”, his boss was making these statements casually as he was exploring the mobile.
He was silent. This is not what he expected from his job. He thought he would be able to enjoy all the money he gets. But here it was all different. Work your ass out and still get scolded! No time for any enjoyment! This sucks!
“So I see that you have stored my name as Mr.Hell?” his boss asked without looking up.
Whatever you ask, I won’t answer Mr.Hell!
“Err… sorry. Friends had kept the name as a joke. Sorry”
“Your life is going to be a joke mister!” suddenly getting serious. “I will give you an ultimatum now. Either complete this and your next report within a week or you might as well say hi to your parents again for money”
No! I can’t go back to them now!
“But the next report will by itself take me two weeks! Be reasonable please!”
“Do it within this week or good bye! You may leave now!” the boss’ verdict was always final.
He had to leave the room. He felt cheated. He indeed worked hard. But the expectations were too high. Show the middle finger and leave!, his conscience told him. But what will I do without a job? NO! I won’t complete the work! I’ll see how he can fire me! Suddenly he remembered. He had left his mobile with his boss. He returned to his boss’ room and stopped short at the door as he heard his boss speak to someone over phone…
“No dear. It was that subordinate again. I don’t know what is wrong with him. He is really smart and intelligent. I always believed that he would go places with his talent. Guess something is disturbing him. I felt bad scolding him today. I always do. I have given him some tough work today. I am sure he’ll complete it on time. He is capable…”
He was listening to every word of it. How wrong I was about him?! He returned to his workdesk and started working instantly.
A week later:
“Here are the reports you asked for” he submitted them to his boss. “Sorry for the delay last time. There won’t be any delay from now on”
“That’s good” was his boss’ reply.
His boss saw him walk out of the room. He was laughing. He recollected how smartly he had collected his subordinate’s mobile and asked him to go out, only sure that he would return and how smartly he enacted a phone conversation knowing fully that he was listening. He looked at the reports lying in the table and couldn’t control his laughter…
Thursday, December 4, 2008
X CHANGE X --> REVERT!!
Let’s start with a few examples. Can we tolerate snowfall in South India? Is that a change worth considering? Or instead of going to a human doctor, we have robots to examine us and give us medicines. Will that suit fine? Let’s get more basic. Whatever we do, can we change the inherent feeling that our respective moms were the best cooks we ever encountered? Or there is a more fundamental change that we can face? Suppose the whole of mankind is not allowed to mate naturally and only artificial insemination exists? Would that be imaginable? Can we change the urge to go get wet in the rain inspite of the sophisticated showers in our bathrooms? Or say that noone is allowed to walk on their feet, they move around in chairs everywhere? Can we change any of the above and then say we are happy with our lives? The answer, I guess, would be NO to each of these questions.
Then why change things? The basic human needs and urges always remain the same. Those can never be compromised. People are never happy when something is changed. We always look back at things in the past and yearn to get those moments back. Why is that every survey taken about the happiness index tells us that people were happier ten years back? Why is it that people still remember Mahatma Gandhi everytime there is an attack on the democracy and peace surrounding us? Lot of things have changed in the past 60 years haven’t they? Why do we follow religious practices that have been defined thousands of years back?
There is only one justification to all this. We have tried to change things in our past and have realised that they have always ushered in more unhappiness and disorderliness to our lives. That is why we want everything to be reverted back to its original shape. Perhaps the most ordered and stable state ever was ‘existent’ just before Big Bang occurred. Everything has gone awry and will keep on doing so. Practically, what we need to do now is REVERT back things. To get back the world that had no problems like global warming, terrorism, energy shortage etc. We face all of these now because someone changed the orderliness. So next time someone promises ‘change’ shouldn't we say no to them rather than welcoming him with hope? Irony that the person who proclaims the ‘change’ won the famous election because he had shown the grit and determination to keep fighting till the end, something that is basic to human nature, and not because he had an African origin or because he was a ‘changed’ human being.
So the buzz word should be changed from ‘change’ to ‘revert’. Yes, resist changes in your life and revert back to the things that you always missed. Don’t stick to things just because your status demands them or because they are ‘trendy’. Do things because you always liked doing them and see the happiness flowing in your lives. See the happiness that you once enjoyed…
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Run for your money!
He was a normal working professional who had aspirations and who enjoyed life by the minute. It was all normal until he met one of his distant cousins on that fated occasion. Luck never favored me! I should have known when it all started on Friday the 13th! He was offered a partner role in a new establishment and he had to pool in a lot of money for it. His excitement had no parallels at the beginning. I was dumb!! He considered the possibility of owning a company and he was thrilled at the development. Yes he had to invest huge amounts of money, something that would take him five years in his current job to cumulate. Now I have only five minutes! But his partner assured him that profits will be triple the pooled in money. He knew he was always a born leader. Born loser! He was destined to succeed…
The company seemed to do well at the start. But, being heavily dependent on foreign exchange, it had succumbed to the global recession. Things started going awry and he had to face the investors who demanded their money back. Money was in circulation and noone was willing to return a single paise. The troubles started there. His partner had not invested any capital but he had leased out one of his properties for the company office. I was a fool to accept that! So his partner was insulated from the losses of the company though morally he owed 50% of the losses. That bastard has got no morals! Things were looking dangerous and his partner kept on promising him that all will be alright. The bubble burst the previous day when the investors stromed into the company demanding money and asking him to face legal action if he failed to do so. They can’t do this to me! I did nothing wrong! He and his partner couldn’t think of anything. They remained silent. Today…
He got the shock of his lifetime. His partner didn’t turn up to the office. He started suspecting some foul play since his partner had switched off this mobile too. It was afternoon already. Never have they both been late to office without informing the other. He was getting apprehensive. He always admired the cunning nature of his partner. His partner was smart and daring; that had helped in the business. He was too smart for me! But he knew his partner can’t escape since the office was standing in his partner’s apartment now. So somewhere he was assured that nothing would go wrong. Suddenly, two men came into the office and started looking around. On enquiry, they told him that they had bought the apartment an hour ago from his partner. His world sank. His partner had cheated him. His partner had sold his apartment and ran away. Forever…
He was running… He had to catch his partner. He learnt that his partner boarded a taxi to the railway station after getting the money. That sonofa bitch would be killed today! He had no money with him to catch an autorickshaw also. He ran to the station with all his might. Two minutes to the departure of the only train that hour. He was pushing himself. His face had suddenly got the look of a fierce murderer. The train had started by the time he reached the station. He ran hard towards it but was stopped by the railway manager asking him to show his pass or to get a ticket. By the time he got the ticket from the counter, the train had left…
He started crying. He had lost all this money. He had noone to support him now. He was better dead. He started contemplating about suicide when suddenly a hand tapped his shoulder. “Hi buddy! Why you looking worried and lifeless? We are safe now. I sold my apartment and gave that money to the investors who just left by train. I have rented the same apartment from them and we’ll continue our business with the rest of the money I have. And I have also insured the company this time so we needn’t worry about big losses again! All is for good. We are gonna rock again! Let’s celebrate the new beginning tonight with booze what say?” He was short of words when he heard his partner speak. With tears falling and with all the energy he could possibly amass, he hugged him. I was dumb indeed!!!
Monday, December 1, 2008
I AM BACK!!!
She had two options. She dreaded them both. There was a war. And she was the reason behind its genesis. She loved both the sides. But she was asked to choose one. She felt miserable. Why can’t there be a compromise? Why either this or that? Why not an option which suited both the sides and her too? She suddenly started hating the person who invented the binary system. She tried to maintain her poise and started to think deeply. Her brain favored one of the options and her heart went for the other, naturally. She knew she had to follow the brain and everything would be fine. Everyone will be happy except her and the other side. But if she followed her heart, she would be happy and he would be happy…
He would be happy. That made her heart to bargain more weightage to its decision. Where was he now? Why isn’t he there for her when it mattered the most? Why did he leave her defenseless to face such a critical development? How can she ever take a decision without consulting him? But how can she consult him when he formed one of the sides? Her brain and heart were about to burst, unable withstand the pressure applied onto them. She was helpless. She was in a jail. She was at her home…
He stepped into the inundated road that was being watched with a blank face by another mortal. It was dawn. He had come to save her from all the perils. He saw her eyes through the window. He immediately grasped the dilemma she was facing. He had to help her. He took out the folded letter from his pocket, tied it with a stone and threw it consummately in between the window rails. Instantly she seemed to have unearthed the long buried smiles from her body and she had plenty of them to give away as she read it aloud…
'follow thy heart for being bold is thy specialty
or follow thy brain for being logical is thy idiosyncrasy
but behold of any surreptitious malicious conspiracy
rejoice, cherish, sing and dance with ecstasy
cos thy heart has arrived safely, smartly and sharply
to show you love truly, deeply, madly, fiercely and incessantly'
charmingly,
your prince
On the reverse side of the paper, it was written in bold capital letters- I AM BACK!!!